Unconditional love is commonly believed to be the pinnacle of true love. ”If it’s not that, I don't want it.” But this often-romanticized idea can overlook something essential in relationships: healthy boundaries.
“For better or for worse.”
“I love you no matter what.”
We’ve all heard these phrases before. Many of us yearn for the idea of unconditional love, believing it to be the pinnacle of romantic relationships.
In our culture, it is sometimes being expected to “work it out,” especially in marriage, in spite of serious shortcomings like cheating, financial mishandling, or even abuse.
“Patawarin mo na.” (Forgive them.)
“Mahal ka lang kasi niya.” (It’s because they love you.)
“Intindihin mo na lang.” (Just understand them.)
“Ipaglaban niyo.” (Fight for it.)
But subscribing to the idea of “unconditional love” is prove to abuse and exploitation.
Boundaries and Conditions
Unconditional love presumes that conditions are bad. It sees conditions as a sign that a relationship is weak. It sees boundaries as limitations. However boundaries and conditions are healthy in a relationship. In fact, they are essential.
Successful relationships rely on a mutual understanding of each other’s limitations.
No love is entirely unconditional.
Having a healthy relationship is working through issues together by negotiating the appropriate, reasonable conditions for a mutually satisfactory experience of love between partners.
If conditional love means setting healthy boundaries to strengthen the relationship, then…
Conditional love requires mutual effort.
Conditional love demands respect.
Conditional love is healthy.
